not true
oh wow! i think i just went through all the stages of whatever shit im always on but somehow ive arrived back at happiness and being at peace. i just realized that like it or not this is life, sometimes things work out sometimes they dont whats the point stressing out about it. all the overtime i am putting in who asked me to do it? please oh im gonna go back to just being happy and let the rest take care of itself. either it works out or it doesnt. either way i think i will be fine!
pursuit of happiness
living life as an overly sensitive person who still believes that it is possible to be completely happy is no easy task. when everything that is said or not said, done or not done, intended or implied affects you so much more than you wish it did it kind of makes it harder to ever reach this state of complete nirvana. but im working towards it somehow or determined to never give up on this hope that one day i will get there. infact even though it doesn’t necessarily appear so right now i think i am this much closer to getting there.
fakeasmilewhenthetimingsright-:
My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. - Noah
i’m sorry if i caused you to worry :’(
i can’t wait to see my mommy again and just hug her and tell her how sorry i am i made her worry and for hurting her (my dad too but my mom mostly). this year is the year i try to “fix” my karma and somehow make up for all the negativity i put into the world. i still can’t explain exactly how or why the switch flipped but one day i “woke up” and realized that my life is pretty awesome and i have absolutely no reason whatsoever to have spent as much time as i did being sad and miserable and dragging the ppl who love and care about me into that mess. its like i was walking under a dark cloud and life was all doom and gloom and then suddenly the clouds parted and the sun’s been shining through. i realize that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with me, like the wiring in my brain is just fine and there isnt some deficiency or deformity i couldnt reach or cure and there is nothing i am missing or not seeing. i finally get what everyone was trying to tell me all along and really how given the circumstances ive been given it is so easy to be happy. yes shit happens, yes life isnt always fair, yes you dont always get what you want, but ive gotten so much more than ive earned or i deserve, i know what it means to be truly loved, i’ve got beauty and brains, my future is full of possibility and there are still ppl around to walk with me and catch me if i fall. honestly what more could i ask for. so i decided to stop being sad and to be happy instead and invest in happy thoughts and dreams and actions and you know well just be happy for good! and its been as easy as that. i mean stuff happens to get me down still but i dont stay down. if you can change it change it if not then accept it happily! i want to say sorry to my mommy for putting her through the cutting, the periods of isolation, the eating drama, the indecision, being stupidly impulsive and expecting, no demanding others to clean up my mess. i love you mommy and im sorry i made you worry! she’s so cute, her love is consistent and her prayers and devotion never ceasing, she’s given me everything and every happy memory has her in it or somehow i have her to thank for it, she’s shown me the way and honestly i have no need to look elsewhere!
